Communication is always important. And why shouldn’t it be for sex too?
The article below breaks down three key phrases to keep in mind while communicating about sex with your partner so you can feel more connected. I have written it in a different way to explain important key concepts often described and exercised in Neo Tantra workshops.
1) I feel…
Expressing your emotions is a great way to feel connected with your partner and to yourself. I feel gets you into your heart and body instead of your head. Everyone knows, the best sex is when you are not thinking at all and instead in a tantric bliss with your partner. I feel lets your partner know what you are feeling and experiencing during sex….this gives them the opportunity to connect with you fully and to be there with you. When you are both able to express and be fully heard and felt by each other, again, Tantric bliss can occur.
Sometimes, we can feel hurt about something and later it comes out subconsciously in the bedroom. Whether the subject is about sex, tantra, football or how attentive your partner is being in the relationship- its always freeing to tell your partner whats on your mind so you can clear the air. This way, resentments are not being held and its possible to completely let go during sex.
Expressing your feelings about sex will also lead to greater sexual satisfaction. When your partner knows what you want and what makes you hot, then they can know how to give you the bodily sensations you like best along with the emotions that make you feel safe. Getting into your body and trust are key concepts in Neo Tantra.
Not everyone likes the same things and it takes time to know sometimes what your partner wants. Ask them. tell them what you want, what turns you on the most, what you like best…compliment them, say something like ” it was so incredible when you were moving slowly inside me and where also touching my….”
Neo tantra is about communicating with love and understanding. In neo tantra, communication is about trust, having fun and being open with your partner.
3)I think we peaked ( I would personally never use those words-but I will explain the concept)
Neo Tantra is about connecting with your partner and experiencing harmony with one another. As many people have heard too, tantra is not about orgasm. Its possible for us to have many different types of orgasms and men can have orgasms too with out ejaculating. Well, this takes practice and before the Tantric technique is mastered, orgasm is always nice and mostly welcomed. When it is chased after, orgasm can be measly and fleeting….a thrill that lasts a couple of seconds and thats it.
Neo tantra teaches that when orgasm is sought after and partners are racing to the finish line, the sexual energy in our bodies can get strained and blocked. Plus the orgasm is not actually that amazing. Savior the moments, get inside your body, communicate with your partner, ask them how they feel, tell them how you feel, and you will be able to merge in a tantric way with your partner.
Our society has taught us to be result oriented- and sex has not been excluded. Neo Tantra is about taking the time- connecting, feeling, breathing…letting go so the sexual energy can be released in your body. Its beautiful to see your partner fully present, fully feeling all the sexual energy running in their bodies and still be with you. To me, this is when people look the most beautiful- when they are able to let go fully during sex and their inhibitions dropped. The tantric orgasm is long, strong and deep. It can take you into the universe and allow you to have a proper “la petite mort”. ( A little death like they say in France.) Sex is a great transformational tool and can be a great teacher.
I would like to note that there are many ways to have great sex with your partner. In Neo tantra we touch upon our emotional, spiritual and physical sides. The points above are just small illustrations of some tips that can help to connect with your partner if you feel disconnected.
I also want to say that passionate animalistic sex( thats what I call it) can be deeply satisflying too. And although it may sound contridictory to what I have stated, it can be extremely similar in that two people are completely present with one another, in there bodies and letting their passionate emotions guide them. Be present is a key to happiness and also sexual satisfaction.
I hope you enjoyed my personal input of the article to explain a couple Neo tantra concepts.
Wishing you many happy cummings,